From Mini "Momfluencer" to Offline

A story of a mom who deleted Instagram

Hi! Welcome to Nurture Notes. I’m Cadence, and I’m a mama. I write about intentional motherhood and creating a more purposeful, connected life with our kids. Oh, and by the way, intentional motherhood just means making choices on purpose instead of out of habit or pressure. It’s about slowing down enough to ask, “Is this working for us?” and being okay with doing things differently. Welcome, I am so glad you’re here!

I have always loved Instagram.

I still remember those grainy squares from 2013 when Instagram first came out. At the time, I was studying photography at Parsons, the New School of Design in New York, and it very quickly became apparent that this was the app for me.

Then, influencers started to become a thing, and I was hooked. I was obsessed with seeing other people’s perfectly orchestrated lives and wanted to share everything, so I launched my first project, Cadence in Nature. I set up perfectly designed pictures and blog posts about the importance of getting outside and incorporating wellness practices into your daily life. While working on Cadence in Nature, I started as a social media manager and was helping other brands get their message out, too.

I loved working in social media, but left in 2018 when I married and became a full-time homemaker. Two years later, when we welcomed our son, I became a full-time stay-at-home mom.

And now, this is where the story gets interesting because if you are a mom who has ever been on social media, then you know it is a pretty murky, alluring, often dangerously addictive place. Sometimes, it's inspiring, and other times, it makes you feel like you’re doing everything wrong.

With a newborn in my arms, I would endlessly scroll through other moms and “experts” who were teaching me how to parent. They taught me that my baby should be sleeping in his crib already. They reminded me that if we were to contact nap, he would never learn how to be comfortable sleeping alone. They terrified me into believing that if I continued to nurse my baby to sleep, then he wouldn’t learn to connect his sleep cycles, and I would ruin his sleep forever.

As a first-time mom, I believed them.

Suddenly, I was trying to parent from the outside in. Instead of clueing into my baby's needs, I was trying to be like those moms who got their kids to sleep in their cribs. I still contact napped (because that was the only thing that actually worked), but every time I would nurse him to sleep and let him sleep there in my arms, I truly believed that I was setting him up for failure. I will never forgive the moms who made me believe I was doing something wrong.

I eventually found my stride in motherhood and realized that what I did wouldn’t mess him up and was exactly what my baby needed. After a few years of honing and cultivating my mama instincts, I became a very confident mother. Through that confidence came a yearning to share my story, hoping to reach other first-time moms who felt like they were doing it wrong, too, and remind them that they are not, in fact, doing anything wrong.

I wanted to tell them that parenting with nurture and connection was a gift to their kids, not a mistake. To follow their mama instincts in a way I wish I had at the beginning. To show them another side of parenting content that wasn’t focused on sleep schedules or early independence. So, I started Mama Roosevelt.

@mamaroosevelt, 2023 & 2024

I spent a couple of years sharing my version of motherhood on Instagram with my 5K followers. I loved connecting with other like-minded mothers who praised me for sharing a refreshing take on motherhood and parenting; it was a creative outlet that I enjoyed. I took sporadic breaks from the platform regularly but always found my way back on the app, trying to be a little bit “different” from the rest.

But as I continued to share my life and parenting philosophy, I became acutely aware that while I wholeheartedly believed in the content I was sharing, my life started to become performative. I’d be reading with my son, and instead of being fully there, I’d think: This would make a good story. The moments I cherished most were becoming content. I was preaching presence and connection, while constantly breaking my own boundaries just to “show up” online.

So I walked away from making content and from the platform altogether.

When Instagram is downloaded on my phone, even when I’m not making content, it becomes my locus of control. Suddenly, I am sitting down for the one precious moment in my morning, and I go straight to picking up my phone and opening Instagram. Before I know it, I’m lost in a scroll of other people’s parenting, opinions, and routines. I’m out of sync with my own rhythm. I’ve lost the ability to tune into my intuition, intrinsic feelings, and motivation.

Sure, you can argue for moderation. And yes, social media can offer connection, inspiration, and helpful tips—I’ve certainly found value there too. But moderation is slippery. And for many of us, it’s just not that simple. When the scroll replaces your intuition and becomes your main source of comparison, advice, and validation, it’s no longer a tool. It’s a trap.

We talk about limiting our kids’ screen time, but how often do we take a hard look at our own? For me, stepping away was about being present in my own life and for my son. It was about protecting my peace and giving myself the space to mother in the way I believe in. Now there are no filters. There is no audience. It is just me, my kid, and the real moments that don’t need to be shared to matter.

Thanks for listening,

Hi, Mama! Before you go…I’ve compiled a list of articles on Substack to read if you are interested in learning more about going low screens in your family and opting out of social media. These are articles run by the author of The Anxious Generation, a book I highly recommend.

Are You Struggling With Your Own Screen Time?

Raising Screen-Free Boys

How Parents Can Fight Back Against the Digital Deluge of Life