How to Host a Playgroup
A simple guide to gathering moms, little kids, and building your village.
Hi, and welcome to Nurture Notes! I’m Cadence, a mama and a writer who cares deeply about intentional motherhood and building a more purposeful, connected life with our partner & kids.
When I say “intentional motherhood,” I just mean making choices on purpose, not out of habit or pressure. It’s about slowing down long enough to ask, “Is this actually working for us?” and being brave enough to do things differently when it’s not.
I’m so glad you’re here.
I’ve been hosting playgroups since my son was about two. We had just moved to Atlanta from Austin (by way of Los Angeles), and I knew absolutely no one. In an attempt to build community, I signed up for a local moms-and-toddlers group at a school I was eyeing for the future.
At first, the conversations were classic early motherhood small talk:
“How’s he sleeping?” Ha—he’s not.
“Is he your first?” Yes. How does anyone know what they’re doing?
“Thinking about another yet?” Nope. See above. We’re not sleeping.
Through all those early chats, I realized something: we loved talking about our motherhood realities. And more than that, we needed it. We needed the connection, the honesty, the break in the monotony of caretaking. We were desperate for friendships and to hang out with other moms without needing to find a babysitter.
So I started a playgroup.
It began with a few moms from that toddler class. I asked, “Hey, would you want to come to my house? The kids can play, and we can hang out?”
Every single mom I’ve ever asked has said, and I quote: “Absofuckinlutely.”
Because here’s the secret: every mom wants to be invited. Not every mom wants to host.
I get it. The house is a mess. You’re wiped. The idea of hosting feels like one more thing on the never-ending list. But the truth? No one cares if your house is spotless. Moms just want a safe spot for their kids to run around, a decent cup of coffee, and a real adult conversation.
If you’re struggling to make mom friends or feeling stuck in the rinse-and-repeat of stay-at-home life, this might be your next move.
Put on your big mama pants, ask for her number, and start a playgroup.
And don’t worry, it’s simple and I’ll show you how!
How to Start a Playgroup (Without Making It a Big Thing)
You don’t need to overthink this. You don’t need color-coded invites or a Pinterest board of toddler crafts (they won’t do the crafts anyway, ha!) Here’s how I’ve kept it simple, and something I actually look forward to.
Pick a Time That Works for You
Don’t try to work around everyone else’s schedule. Pick a time that aligns with your kid’s nap and energy rhythms, and when you’re likely to feel your best. For us, mid-morning has always worked well. That gives me a little time to reset the house (read: quickly do the dishes and put random stuff in a bin), throw on some concealer, and have coffee brewing before everyone arrives.
Start Small
You don’t need ten moms and a signup sheet. Two or three moms are plenty. Fewer people often means deeper conversation, less chaos, and a vibe that’s more “cozy morning hangout” than “kid birthday party.” If you have a friend or two already, great. If not, this is where the toddler class, local library story time, or playground chats come in handy. Try inviting one too many moms because someone will inevitably be sick or have a hard day and cancel at the last minute. Don’t let this stop you!
Don’t Make Excuses. Send the Text
Don’t overthink the state of your house. We are moms, we GET IT. Send the text. A simple, “Hey! Want to bring your little one over Friday morning for a casual playdate? Nothing fancy, just toys and coffee!” works perfectly. No one is expecting anything formal, and they desperately want to come!
Put Out Snacks
Have the toys in the playroom, a few snacks on hand, and coffee ready. That’s it. You don’t need a theme. You don’t need to deep-clean your bathroom (but sure, wipe down the toilet seat). If your toddler melts down or your baby needs to nurse mid-convo? That’s the vibe. That’s motherhood. We just want to eat snacks and hang out!!
Keep Showing Up
The first one might feel awkward. That’s okay. The second might feel easier. By the third or fourth, it becomes a rhythm. A real friendship can start over cold coffee and a pile of blocks. The magic of playgroups is that they don’t have to be polished, they just have to happen. If you’re hosting, all the other moms will be so grateful and appreciative to be invited.
Through these playgroups, I have formed some of my closest mom friends, who have become integral parts of my village. These are the friends who took my son for me when things went wrong in my second pregnancy, who were there feeding me through my heartbreak, and who I have been able to show up for time and time again, too.
None of that would have happened if I hadn’t made the effort first.
Playgroup Starter Toolkit
What to Have Out
You do NOT need to plan any activities. Let the kids have unstructured, free play together. Depending on their age, try not to intervene too much! If you want to set something up, just put out some markers and paper.
Easy snacks for the kids. This is a low-effort way to make it seem like you made a lot of effort.
Coffee & tea station for the moms (bonus: non-dairy milk & a treat if you feel generous. I like baking banana bread muffins the night before!)
What to Text
“Hey! Want to come over Friday morning for a low-key playdate? Coffee and toddler chaos? Would love to hang out!”
What to Remember
No one’s judging your house.
Everyone’s craving connection.
You’re not hosting a party. You’re building community.
A little effort goes a long way.
Motherhood can feel isolating, but when we create space for each other in our real, messy lives, we give ourselves and other moms the permission to show up honestly, and THAT is how real friendships form.
So, be the one who goes first. Be the inviter. Put on the coffee, toss the toys in a basket, and open the door. Your people are out there and probably just as desperate for community as you are.
You’ve got this. ✨
Love,
Cadence
More for you to explore:
What to Do in the Quiet Moments of Motherhood (Instead of Scrolling)
Raising the Bar in Stay-At-Home Motherhood
Everyday Ways to Build Connection With Your Kids
I’m Cadence, and Nurture Notes is where I share ideas for intentional motherhood, low-screen living, and building a connected family culture.
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Super encouraging! Will be doing soon.
I spent so much time as a young mother worried about the state of our home. Once you pull the bandage off and just invite people over - you realize many are in the same situation you are in! After many false starts I have finally found a supportive and nourishing community. I hope other young mothers can read this and understand that a lot of people are just waiting for someone to reach out.